Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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