they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
