I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
