im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
