I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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