Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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