Having a random hookup so left but love u
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
