Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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