why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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