Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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