I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
