hotel room ftw
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
