I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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