i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the day after is always just damage control
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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