I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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