How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
