i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
