If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this just has baby written all over it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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