u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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