My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
