I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it was like eating out sand paper
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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