"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
