I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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