Can i not drive my cunt home
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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