kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
