Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
