Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
