Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize