D3 body, D1 cock
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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