Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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