i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
