Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's shark week go big or go home
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There are leaves in my underwear?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
