oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize