Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
