My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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