just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
