Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't tell me you're on acid again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
