At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
