you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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