Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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