I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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