so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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