I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize