I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
