threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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