I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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