Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
