kristin has been a bad kristin
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
