so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
