dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have tasted many bathrooms
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
