I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off