ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!