Barsexuality is the new black.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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