8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
