At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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