You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
