Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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