her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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