So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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