I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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