this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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