Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
COCAINE IS GR8
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
