I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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