Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
