ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
